Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Fuck!

I can't tell you how honored I am to do today's post. I have asked one of my favorite bloggers in the world to guest post and she has graciously agreed.

As you know, it is my mission in life to corrupt the world one 'fuck' at a time.


I believe the quickest way to do that is to start with the nicest, classiest people you can find and influence them so that 'fuck' becomes a regular part of their vocabulary. Like 'hello' or 'peanut butter' or 'I am a Christian.' You know, normal stuff. To that end, I have asked the sweetest woman I know to crash my blog and unleash a whirlwind of 'fucks' all over it.

This shit is gonna be fucking fun.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mynx, author of Dribble and Secret Pleasures. Enjoy!


Look where I have landed.  

On a “Bitch called Mum  Mom,  oops, nearly Aussied your blog Mrs Hyde.

Firstly let me tell you how fucking glad I am to be asked to guest here.  Did you see that? I said the “F” word and not even on the naughty blog I also have.

Surprise you did I?

I never really say “fuck” on my blog.  Well I must have a couple of times because one day I did one of those word cloud thingys and there it was. 
In real life I do tend to say it more, but usually only when I am really stressed.  You see, I am/was a bit of a goody two shoes.  But here I am, where not only am I allowed to say “fuck”, I can even say it lots and lots.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, hehehe.

Said it out loud in the car the other day.  Big C said “Mum, the word is Fudge, FUDGE”.  

Fuck, I am being told off for bad words by a 14 year old.

I must admit that reading it in a lot of blogs tends to make it easier to say.  If my blog wasn’t a secret from my real life I might have replied “Awwww but Mrs Hyde says fuck all the time and her kids don’t tell her off”.

When Mrs Hyde asked me to write this guest, I suddenly remembered a situation when I said Fuck a lot, and very loudly.  And surprised a fuck load of people in the process.  

As I was a full time Mum, I got involved in the boys Kindergarten (preschool for 4 year olds).  So fucking involved, I was made chairperson of the fucking parents committee.  (see how good I am getting at using the f bomb)

Part of the role was planning and organising fundraising and the committee decided this particular year to have a massive garage sale (yard sale?).
Weeks of collecting stuff from parents, promoting it around the area. Sorting pricing and storing until the day.  An early start (5 am) to get things ready.  A sausage sizzle to keep the men happy while the women browsed.

If you think this was hard work, you are not wrong Narelle.  

The partner of one of the women on the committee had volunteered to help.  Yay, we thought, needed a guy or two to be useful.  

How wrong were we?

While we women worked our tushies off, this guy (let’s call him John) decided it was much more fun to sit on his arse and play on the computer half the morning.
Anytime something that needed a guy happened, he became the invisible man.  

Finally the day was over and while taking the money to a room to count, John approached me and said,“Gee this was an easy way to make a pile of cash, we should do it every month”

And being the lady I am, I gave him the death glare and walked away.

Jenny, who had seen him speak to me, but not heard the comment came over and asked me what was making me look so steamed.
It was then, for the first time in anybody’s memory that I let it really rip.

“That fucking, John, he fucking thinks that this was a fucking easy fucking way to fucking make money and has suggested that we fucking do it every fucking month.  Well if he wants to fucking organise this fucking nightmare, he fucking can, because there is no fucking way we are doing it again for at least another fucking year.”

When I finally came up for air, I looked at the girls around me and their stunned faces.

And then we laughed.

And it became a bit of a legend.  How John made Mynx say fuck more times in one minute than she had said in an entire year.

And the fucking Garage Sale, well it made a shit load of money and became a fucking annual event. 

And John, he remained a fucking lazy dumb ass.


Wasn't that fucking awesomeness dipped in chocolate and deep fried on a stick? And my two favorite subjects: fuck and dumnasses!

Thanks for dropping by and entertaining us today, Mynx. You can bring your arse over here and Aussie my blog any day! Love you!

Oh! Had to come back and edit to add this on: if any of my other readers would like to guest on either of my blogs, please let me know. Just remember that there are rules for The Well-Fed Spirit, but absolutely no rules whatsoever for A Bitch Called Mom. Well...maybe one or two rules, but you know what I mean. Rabbit and The Empress, I know you're busy, but as soon as things die down over there, I'm coming for you two...

17 comments:

  1. Mynx! I never knew what a potty mouth you are! LOL. I think I kinda like it:)

    Great guest post.

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  2. FUCKING BRILLIANT!

    (Need I say more?)

    And for you, Mrs. H, I am never too busy.

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  3. Now that Mynx has had her fucking say she should go wash her mouth out with grandma's lye soap. :-)

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  4. Now I feel like going and spreading fuck to the world. It's kind of like yawning. Once you see/hear someone else do it you automatically follow suit (you just yawned didn't you? Come on, tell me you yawned).


    Kara,

    visions unto myself

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  5. I LOVE this post! Not only is it somewhat of a collaboration by two of my dear bloggy friends but it features my all-time favorite curse word! Double yay!!! In life outside the blogosphere I swear like a frickin' sailor especially in my car or around people I know well. But in the blogging world I tend to clean up my f-bombs a little by using the substitute "eff" or f*ck, mainly because I know there are a few readers who do not like this word. So to see my favorite word in all its glory, repeated over and over is AWESOME!
    Big hugs to you both Mynx and Mrs. Hyde

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  6. Love it. what you said about John, that is how I talk all the time. The other day I was in the middle of a story and my husband pretended to listen but once I finished ranting he simply said, "you sure cuss a lot." That shit really set me off into a whole new fucking rant.

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  7. @Rabbit- Anytime, any day, any blog. It's your world, boo.

    @Don- You leave my Mynxie alone! I know you don't blog (I think), but we're going to have to get you to do a guest post. What do you think, Mynx?

    @Empress- When you guest blog (hint, hint), I'll give you a different word to run with if that will make your readers feel more comfortable. OR since this is my blog, you can 'fuck' all you want.

    I'll let Mynx respond to the rest of your lovely comments as this is her time to shine at ABCM.

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  8. FUCK....now I gotta go wash my eyes out with soap!!!

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  9. "And being the lady I am, I gave him the death glare and walked away."

    LMAO!!!!

    Fuckin great post!!! :)

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  10. Oh wow, this is brilliant. Thankyou everybody for all your lovely comments.

    JM- It is a side of me I dont often show

    Rabbit- Thankyou, you and Mrs Hyde and Evil Bruce continue to inspire me to "fuck" more often -ooh that could be taken several ways ;)
    I want you to come visit my blog again too sometime

    Don- Yes Dad. lol

    Kara- Yes I yawned, thanks for that

    Empress- Thankyou. It was so liberating

    Holly- I dont, so it took everybody by surprise. You could have heard a pin drop

    Bruce- whispering sweet nothings in my ear again?

    Dad- Sorry Dad, lol

    Toy Couture- Thankyou

    Mrs Hyde- Thank you for the wonderful chance to come play on your blog. I had a fucking good time and these are some fucking awesome comments. (have I said it enough now?, when do I get chocolate cake?)
    Don tells me he is too busy to blog but I have featured him once on Dribble and there is a little something that might just get a run on Pleasures.
    Oh and when you are done with the Empress, untie her and send her over to my place will you?

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  11. Barb asked me to transfer this comment from one post to the other. Idk how to do that so this is the best I can do. You guys know I can only copy and paste!

    Bouncin' Barb said...
    How the fuck did I miss this fucking great post Mynx and Mrs. Hyde? OMG, I blew right by it I guess. I'm so glad I found it though. It was so funny. I say this wonderful word much to often. My mother told me when I was a teenager that I had a mouth like a truck driver. Well her favorite son is a truck drive and my Bruce is a truck driver so wtf is wrong with that? hahaha. I'm a Jersey girl so there's no telling what will come out of my mouth when I get a little miffed. You guys are great!

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  12. Fucktastic. Yep... you can make new words out of it too!!

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  13. Interesting story. :P I use the word sparingly myself, that way it’s more powerful. Though I regularly meet people who can’t go an entire sentence without using it. Chavs mostly.

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  14. Mrs. Hyde, no, I don’t blog. I might start a blog after hell freezes over or Mynx gives me clear title to her new bedroom #4 .....or at least lets me choose who gets to share it with me. :-)

    I can’t imagine what she’s got in mind of mine that she might use on her Secret Pleasures blog @ http://mynxxx.blogspot.com/ unless it’s a little ditty I wrote long ago about “My First Sex Lesson”. I’d be pleased to send a copy of it to you by email if you want it.

    If anyone doesn’t know what grandma’s lye soap is that I mentioned in my earlier comment they can go to http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/lyrics/lyesoap.htm if they want to find out.

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  15. @Don- If Mynx is going to post your story on Secret Pleasures, then I'll wait and read it there. Now you've got me wondering what my first sex lesson was. Oh, I know! Never screw a virgin. Long story. And painful.

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Bitch with me, will you?