Wednesday, September 16, 2015
I know nobody probably cares anymore, but I just felt like posting today. I don't know why. Probably because what I wanted to say was more than 140 characters long. Since it's my blog that I set up originally so I could bitch when I'm PMSing, I think I'll do just that. Bitch. It's what I do best.
There was one slice of cake leftover from my boss' baby shower at work yesterday. It was just sitting there on the break room counter, minding its own business. It wasn't bothering a soul. Honey, I walked past that thing five times, casting subtle glances upon its deliciousness as I went about my morning, just praying that someone else would eat it.
Then around 11:30 am, my stomach started doing that thing where it's insisting on being fed. You know that thing where your stomach is basically making you its bitch? Yeah, that. I said to myself, "Mrs. Hyde, maybe the Universe will intervene and the cake will be gone." It would be better for all concerned if it played out that way. No tummy ache. No guilt. No buttercream icing clinging to my chin at the staff meeting.
The Universe did not intervene. The Universe was all, "I'ma need you to eat the healthy snack you planned and not run up those stairs, grab the cake and scarf it down as fast as you can so no one will see you because everyone knows you're trying to eat better and exercise and what will people think if you devour a piece of luscious, delicious, decadent red velvet cake?" Ok, so at some point the Universe stopped talking and it was all me, bad grammar, run-on sentence and all.
Then I remembered that I don't give a fuck what people think, so I ate the cake. It was so good! But I will not feel guilty about it. What I will do is eat better for the rest of the day and resume my health(ier) eating and trying to get in some exercise, for the love of all that is good.
But, yeah. The struggle is real.