Saturday, January 15, 2011


There are so many times that I just have a thought or two that I'd like to share, but it's not necessarily worth a whole post. I usually just say screw it and keep it to myself. Sometimes I subject my husband and kids to my fluky nonsense, but in the spirit of Simple Dude's Half-Assed Weekend Posts, I will share with you the following random thought.

In the book and subsequent movie, Charlotte's Web, why the hell did the pig get credit for the writings Charlotte spun in her web? What kind of in-bred, back-woods, cousin-fucking thought pattern would cause someone to believe that a pig could not only spin a spider's web, but also form perfectly spelled phrases? It was one of my childhood favorites and I didn't want the pig to be chopped into various delicious cuts of meat either, but really? Really?

Wow...that was fun. I may have to do some half-assed weekday posts as well.


  1. this was kinda half porked...

    postus interuptus...

    but it was worth it...imbred backwoods cousin fucking made me laugh!!!

    bruce johnson jadip
    stupid stuff i see and hear
    Bruce’s guy book
    the guy book
    Dreamodel Guy

  2. Well, in a world where spiders give life-coaching advice, only to die right when the fucking bastards are needed most - I guess it's believable people will assume I pig has some written communication skills.
    Love the Half Assed post - this is a great one!


  3. Maybe half-assed, but completely funny!

    PS - Blog love for you at my place ...)


  4. this is a great post. I remember sitting there thinking how stupid the farmer was. My parents comment, "it is only a movie"

  5. When I was a kid, I was ok with the idea that the pig got slaughtered as long as it ended up as a big ham on my dinner table.

  6. Enjoyed your post. I'm with Bruce,imbred backwoods cousin fucking made me laugh!!!

  7. THAT WAS BRILLIANT!! I have no idea why they did that and i've been asking the same thing. As Jeff Foxworthy would say: "if you believe a pig could spell phrases in spiders web; you might be a redneck!"

  8. Bruce- Glad that 30 seconds wasn't a waste of your time. ;)

    SD- Good point. It was fucked up how she just died and left him to fend for himself.

    PM- Thanks for the love, honey!

    Mynx- I know! I was too grown-up for make believe.

    OT- But he was so cute! You can't eat cute animals.

    Restaurant Manager- Happy to bring you some laughter! Welcome to my blog, if I haven't said it already.

    Eschelle- You made red wine spray from my nose. I'll learn my lesson one day about drinking and reading comments.

  9. They should do a new movie. Wilbur meets Babe. You are too funny!!

  10. Guess Charlotte gives new meaning to the term 'ghost writer'.

  11. Good one! For a minute there, I thought you were going to make Appalachian jokes, too. :-)

  12. Half-assed or not you know I'm always going to stop by and read what you have written. If you merely wrote f*ckitty, f*ck f*ck f*ck I would still be amused. Have a wonderful week my friend!

  13. Barb- Babe would totally kick Wilbur's ass.

    Mollie- She was the original!

    Dad- That's because my whole ass won't fit on the screen.

    Soapbox- I try to only offend one group of people at a time.

    Empress- And I am eternally grateful for that. I might make 'fuckity fuck fuck' the topic of my next post.


Bitch with me, will you?