The Best of ABCM: Day 1

Approximately one year ago today, give or take a week, the creation that you all know and love came to be: A Bitch Called Mom. I approximate its inception because I don't know the exact date that I started this blog. I don't know the exact date because, well, this is what happened.

I started blogging because: 1. I read somewhere that every writer should have a blog. Sheep that I am, I signed up for a blogger account. 2. I honestly wanted to share my experience and wisdom with the world. I thought I could help people, women especially, go through some of the toughest times in their lives and come out on the other end happy. If you're not familiar with my blog The Well-Fed Spirit and you only know me from this one, you're in for a rude awakening if you should ever end up over there.

I created the Well-Fed Spirit and everything was going fine until one day, the bitch came out. PMS was wreaking havoc on the villagers and scaring the crap out of them, to boot. It occurred to me, during one particular tongue-lashing my husband was receiving, that I could blog my frustrations and unwelcome hormones away. Hopefully.

And so the bitch that you now know as Mrs. Hyde was born. But then the zen bitch felt bad about putting all that negativity out into the Universe and deleted the first two posts. Then the PMS bitch said, "Better on the internet than in my head," so I started it again.

A few months back, a blog friend Semi-True Torystellar, Tory to me because I'm cool like that, recommended I do sort of an ABCM Hall of Fame for my most popular posts. I don't remember her exact words or even when she said it, but I wrote it down so that I wouldn't forget. And I would have forgotten. I don't know how many brain cells I have left, but let's just say that they live so far apart, they only get together on the holidays to cry about how they're the last of a dying breed. I'm not going to re-post the most popular, though; sometimes what is popular is not necessarily good. I'm going to post the ones I think are the best of the best from past year.

It took me awhile to come up with the posts I think are the best ones because I think that all of my shit is gold. But I didn't want to bore you with three straight months of reruns, so I had to pick. I'll also include one or two funny/interesting comments that the post originally received. They will appear in no particular order, which means one day you might get a re-post from January 2011 and the next you might get one from July 2010. Gotta keep you guys on your toes.

Our first post is a blast way back from August 2010. It's a special post to me because it was the first time I met The Empress of The Ranter's Box fame. She's my sister from another mister and I love her to pieces. Go check her out if you haven't already. It's a relatively short one since I've probably bored you enough for one post today.

And now our first Best of ABCM post:

Fuck Meat Eaters

I just read a post by my all-time favorite blogger. Now just because he's my favorite doesn't mean I agree with everything he says. I'm not his fucking clone after all.

His post was about vegetarians. But not just about us, totally and completely trashing us. And his stalkers, um, followers just made the discussion even worse. There were racist comments, ignorant comments, dumb-as-fuck comments. It made me sick.

Don't get me wrong, I know that there are A LOT of vegetarians and/or vegans who take that shit too far. I, however, am not one of them and I get sick and tired of defending my goddamn personal decision. Bitch, I didn't say your ass had to be a vegetarian; I said I'm a fucking vegetarian. If you want to eat a big ass pile of fucking meat, I don't give a shit. Knock yourself out. But don't fucking judge me because I choose not to.

Stop being so fucking stupid. "Vegetarian" is not synonymous with "punching bag." Please stop saying stupid shit to me. No, dumb ass, plants do not have feelings, too. Yes, dumb ass, vegetarians do, in fact, give head and probably a helluva lot better than you because we know how to give pleasure as well as receive it.

This is the last time, the last fucking time, I will defend my personal decision to be a vegetarian. From this moment on, all you hypocritical assholes will get a kick in the nuts or a serious punch in the tits when you demand I defend my position. See, I really don't care whether animals are harmed or not.

BTW, fuck you.

Here's the only comment I received from that post:

Hi Mrs. Hyde! I found you through our favorite blogger The Bitchy Waiter. Like you I too am a vegetarian. That fucknugget who wrote those nasty racist comments on BW's vegetarian posts pissed my ass off. And I said so. I even wrote my own follow up blog post relating to being a vegetarian. ...You are funny and I look forward to reading more of your blog posts.
Have a great week, The Empress

http://rantersbox.blogspot.com


Fucknugget...don't you just love her?