Monday, November 15, 2010

I Ain't Afraid of No Ghost

Have you ever scared yourself shitless? I don't mean you're in the house alone and you walk past a mirror and startle yourself (I've done that, too btw). I'm talking Nightmare-on-Elm-Street-afraid-to-take-your-ass-to-bed scared. No? Too bad. I do that to myself all the time. Last night I did it to myself by taking pictures in the dark. Let me explain.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've been fascinated with all things spooky: ghosts or if you prefer, spirits, the supernatural, the occult. I started reading Stephen King novels when I was eleven years old and I haven't stopped yet. There was this urban legend that if you looked into a mirror in the dark and said, "Bloody Mary" three times, she would appear in the mirror behind you and kill you. I did that. She didn't come. Let's not talk about the fact that I had a death wish as a child. I absolutely love being scared out of my mind. Don't ask me why. So, fast forward today to my 29-year-old self (shut up) and I'm still doing things to scare the hell out of myself.

I have some friends who go ghost hunting once a month. They have been trying to get me to go for awhile now. Yeah. Good luck with that. Going to a graveyard at night and taking pictures in the dark is a little too up close and personal for me. They take their digital cameras and some thingy that lets them 'hear' and 'talk to' the spirits. Then they come back and show me pictures with thousands of orbs in them and suck me in with their ghostly tales. I love to flip through all their pictures and hear their stories when they come back, but going to a graveyard? At night? I think I'll pass.

A couple days ago, one of my ghost hunting friends suggested I take pictures in my backyard. Since it's pitch black out there at night, it's a perfect setting to catch orbs flying around. In case you don't know or haven't at least figured it out by now, the orbs are spirits, ghosts, the dead floating around undetected until you take a flash picture of them in the dark. And she wants me to do this in my backyard? Has this bitch lost her mind?

Apparently not because I did that shit. I saw two orbs floating their happy asses around my yard without a care in the world.
View DSCN1250.JPG in slide show

Can you see them? One is directly in the middle of the picture and the other one is off to the left. That one, technically, is in my neighbor's yard. I got so excited that I decided to take some pictures inside my house. Dumbass. What a stupid, stupid thing to do.

View orb in di...jpg in slide show
I tried to point them out, but it's really tiny.


View orb2 in L...jpg in slide show
Right beneath the picture on the wall. There's also one on the curtain. 

Okay, I suck at the picture posting/paint thing, but they're there, dammit! And not one word about my messy ass house.

What was that? Oh, the cat just walked up the stairs.

Anyway, now I know that there are spirits floating around in my house. I always suspected 'cause weird shit happens in here all the time, but suspecting and knowing are two entirely different animals. The doorbell rings and no one is at the door. My kids leave the satellite receiver on and when I go to turn it off, it turns off by itself. Why the hell does the 'spirit' let me walk all the way over to the receiver if 'it' is going to turn it off itself? I know I need the exercise; I don't need some fucking entity from another dimension to tell me that. And now I see these orbs flying around. I think I'm about to jump on the bandwagon with my friend Mynx and look for a new house.

It was about 12:30 AM and I was sleepy as all hell, but I was afraid to go to sleep. Hubs was working the second half of his double shift, so it was just the kids and me. The kids were knocked out in their own beds, in their own rooms. Even the cat didn't want to be anywhere near my ass. He looked at me like, "You did this shit to yourself, bitch. You're on your own." I had visions of spirits dancing above me while I slept and making noises just to fuck with me. Actually, I did hear the floorboards creek a few times. Finally, I got too sleepy to care and fell asleep. I awoke in the morning wondering what the hell I was so afraid of. There's just something about morning that makes everything seem okay. It's so...non-threatening. So unlike the evil nighttime.

I'll give you until the end of the day to stop laughing at my dumb ass. Then pray to every god you know that I manage to fall asleep tonight.


  1. I am sorry that you scared yourself. I can't see your pictures. It may be that my mac is being an overbearing gorilla and just not letting the pictures show up for me. Sometimes the mac thinks things are a threat that aren't. Go figure. Or maybe even my computer is scared of ghosts.

    Either way, since I cannot see the pictures I'm going to stick my neck out and hopefully calm your fears. Could they possibly be dust motes illuminated by your flash? Possibly? Maybe?

    Rest well, they didn't hurt you prior to you knowing about them, I can't expect that will change now that you do.

  2. hehehe, laughing so hard it is rather hard to type. Silly woman, I can sympathise because I do it all the time. With me however it is spiders in the bed. I feel them crawling on me, fling off the covers, wake the hubby and nothing. So maybe I have ghost spiders. We do however have a TV that seems to turn itself on all by itself but I think the culprit is really the 14 yr old who turns it on then leaves the room.
    Did I tell you that there is something at my blog for you?

  3. First, I love the new look here. Thought I was in the wrong place for a second.

    We have ghosts here, too. But it's nothing new. I don't know if it is because we are crazy New Orleanian Southern Folk or what, but the other side seems to like us - a lot. This house of my mother's is a trip. The old man who used to live here killed himself in the kitchen. His wife lived another several years and went on home herself. But they are still here. He really gave my mother a hard time when she first bought the place and was renovating. You hear them walking about. Doors open and close. They have all KINDS of fun with the tvs and computers (you SAVE often here while working on the computer). But they don't feel threatening to me. It almost gives me some comfort as I am here alone about 90% of the time.

    Other spooks however, have not always been so kind. I could tell you stories from when I still lived in New Orleans that would straighten your hair... And then I, too, ran a ghost hunting group for years.

    But here, they are peaceful. Here, they are friendly. You might talk to yours. They may be the same.

  4. @Semi True- the thing is, I'm not afraid they'll harm me, I'm afraid they'll mistake me for Patricia Arquette and start talking to me all the damn time, tryna get me to contact their loved ones and what not. I'm good, though. Until the next time. Also, they were definitely orbs. If my picture posting skills were better, you'd see that they look like balls of light. None of my dust looks like that and I have plenty to compare.

    @Mynx- I did see your wonderful award and thank you! I'm trying to think of my guilty pleasures now, and as I said on your blog, if I get in trouble, I'm blaming you.

    @Rabbit- Thanks, honey! It's my electrically charged super bitch from the heavens look. My friend Lolamouse gave me that name. I may put that in my blog description.
    I would LOVE to hear your New Orleans stories! Preferably at night just before I go to bed. I've tried talking to mine with a ouija board and a lit candle. They're not very talkative.

  5. Just have a conversation with them. I just talk to them like they are a person in the room. You'd be surprised. They don't "talk back" like another living entity, but they will respond. You'll know. They may just be lonely and want you to notice them. (And yes, I am fully aware that I sound like a loon. I have just seen, heard, felt them all my life so I tend to be protective, I guess.)

  6. The orbs are dust or bugs. I get them all the time in photos. However, I totally believe in ghosts. Ever watch Ghost Hunters? Great show.

  7. Rabbit, I will try that as soon as the fright from last night is completely worn off. Does the candle thing work for you? I've seen it work for others, but not for me. As a side note, your earlier post reminded me of something that happened earlier today. I leaned over to clean the oven out and I was in there for a few minutes sweeping crap out of it. When I stood up, both cabinets over the stove were open--wide open. I stood there for a minute trying to remember if I had gone in the cabinets for anything. I still don't remember doing so and I know I would have noticed if they were already open when I went into the kitchen. Creepy. Of course I was home alone.

    @Anon- I'm not convinced. There are thousands, maybe millions of dust particles floating around at any given time. Why is my flash only picking up one or two of them? I haven't watched Ghost Hunters, but I probably will now.

  8. Aw, I wasn't able to view the pictures. You are far more brave than I would ever be. That stuff would freak me the hell out. Even though I suspect 'they' are there sometimes, really I just don't want to know so I pretend otherwise. Rabbit is on to something when he says to talk to them, especially if they are making you uncomfortable - then you have to let them know who is boss. But the rest of the time I have a policy of not encouraging them to come around.

    Good luck with getting a peaceful night's sleep and please keep us posted re: your future ghostly adventures. BIG HUGS!!

  9. @The Empress- Oh, I'll get a good night's sleep. The hubs came home early and we both are about one and a half sheets to the wind right now. Give me another hour and I will be on cloud nine. Ghosts? Guck those fhosts!

  10. Nope - no luck with candles, or ouija, or any of that other silly stuff. And believe you me, I've tried. They just tend to jump out and say hello.

    Funny 'bout your cabinets. I just woke up and went to make coffee and the pantry cupboard is wide open. Was not like that when I went to bed. I just left it open. Maybe they wanted a snack...

    p.s. don't bother with Ghost Hunters. It's about 50 minutes of boring with about 10 minutes of ridiculous. *yawn*

  11. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry. It's not funny. Ok it is. Both of my sisters sit around and watch Ghost Hunters all the time until they get too scared to go to sleep. They are ridiculous. Me? I love a scary movie, but always in the daylight. I am terrified of the dark. I can't walk down the hallway without flipping on every light switch on the way.

    As for taking pictures of ghosts, I'd rather not know. I would be like you and not be able to sleep if I had proof.

  12. Okay, I had to come check you out after seeing your link on Jumble's blog. Girl, you are braver than I am! I can't read Stephen King. I'm lucky I can watch his movies. Bravery is not one of my strong suits so you have my adoration, and my laughs. :)

  13. @Krissy- I'm only brave in the daytime! Sometimes if I'm reading a Stephen King novel, I'll keep reading it through the night just so I won't have to go to sleep. Thanks for checking me out and please come back soon!

  14. See, that's why I can't read him. He's way too descriptive and scares the hell out of me! I think you are stuck with me now, though. I like your perspective on things.

  15. I LOVE Stephen King. He is by far the best author. I have long stopped thinking of his books as scary though. If you want to read something that will give you goosebumps, try Bentley Little's stuff. He's a great horror writer.

  16. Thanks, Beautiful! I'm checking my library's catalog right now to see if they have him.

  17. Did you cat see them? If the cat saw them, they are real.

  18. Crazy- I have no idea where the cat was, but he does chase and run from things that only he can see.


Bitch with me, will you?