Monday, October 11, 2010

Must Love Insanity

Occasionally, I feel the need to share something deeply personal about myself with strangers. I don't care who it is: old men on the bus, pharmacists, homeless people, babies. I will run my mouth like Martha Stewart's bitch ass assistant in 2005. Usually, my lips get loose after I've had a few, but I swear I'm stone cold sober right now. No, really. Stop fucking laughing. And while I have made some good cyber friends from this blog, I haven't actually met any of you, so... Although, if anyone has the urge to invite a random bitch for a weekend visit, say the word and I will leave in the middle of the night with neither warning nor note. Hell, they can survive on ramen for two days.

I was trying to make myself write something, any fucking thing yesterday when I came across a poem that I wrote a few years ago. Plus, I feel the need to redeem myself after totally ripping off Shakespeare a few days ago.You can click the "next blog" button at the top of the page if you hate poetry. I hate dumbasses, so I completely get it. Hey, hatred is hatred.

For those of you who don't mind reading the shit that goes on in my head (and you don't, that's why you're here), this one's for you. Well, not really, but read it anyway. Keep in mind whose poetry you're reading. There will be no flowery prose here.


My name is Pretense
Some say I'm a bitch
I don't scare easy
Cry hard,
Blink or flinch.
Shit, you can't faze a witch.
It doesn't matter if you got yours
'Cause I make sure I get served.
Oh, you didn't leave your heart at the door?
Then you got what you deserved.
I don't care if you weep
Don't give a fuck about tears
Don't want to hear about your dreams
Could care less about your fears.
I'm Pretense, baby
We've been here before
I warned you, I warned you
To leave your heart at the door.
Don't leave yourself open
Don't let yourself be played
It's not always easy
Living this masquerade
Some evils are necessary for survival
Some evils are necessary for survival
Some evils are necessary for survival
If I repeat it enough times
That'll make it true
Repeating a necessary evil makes you
Numb to that shit, too.
Repetition leads to memory
Memory leads to defense
Defense leads to pretense
Ain't that a bitch?

As you can see, even my poems are bitches. That's how I roll.


  1. Good gravy and biscuits! I think I love you more than I already did. More of this please. Absolutely tremendous. Brilliant.

    (Okay, I'll stop gushing now. But, really, WOW.)

  2. Stop it, Rabbit! You're making me blush and that's no easy feat for a bitch as dark as I am. xoxo

  3. Fabulous Mrs Hyde. You are welcome to come visit me for the weekend. We could drink wine and rant. Let me know what time to pick you up.

  4. Wow. It's only 7:10 a.m. and you woke me up! That poem was like a punch in the stomach but in a good way, if that makes any sense. Write more, I agree!

  5. @Mynx- That sounds WONDERFUL! I'm on my way! And thank you for both the invitation and your kind words.

    @Lolamouse- What a way to start the day, huh? Happy to provide a wake up call. :) I'm trying to write a little something everyday. We'll see how long I stick with that plan.

  6. Mrs Hyde, consider yourself tagged in a treasure hunt. Come to my blog to see the rules
    Hugs :)


Bitch with me, will you?