Monday, April 4, 2011

There's Bullshit Afoot

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You know who said that? Some bitch who steals people's shit.

I realize that I am the most creative bitch the internet has seen in awhile. I know. But just because I've got ideas spewing from my every orifice doesn't mean that you can take your pick of them without giving me at least a cursory backlink on your blog when you take my idea and do a whole fucking post on it like it was YOUR idea.

For example, last week on Facebook, my friend Micael Chadwick had this to say: "If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, why does my soul want to scream with every fiber of its being: 'GET YOUR OWN FUCKING IDEAS!!!!'"

When I read this I yelled at my computer screen, "I know, right!" It reminded me of a time when I did a blog post that I will not mention and then a reader did a similar post shortly thereafter and didn't even bother to mention where their brilliant post idea came from. I immediately thought of writing this post, but then life and its incessant bullshit happened, so I said fuck it. 

But then...then... it happened again. Now I'm calling bullshit.

Maybe you don't know that it's bad manners and all sorts of fucking assholeness to take a fellow writer's idea and pass it off as your own. It is. I know how hard it is to come up with fresh ideas all the time to entertain your readers. That's why my ass isn't on here everyday wowing you with my brilliance. I'd love to, but some of the shit that goes on in my brain should actually stay there. 

This, however, is not one of those things.

Every time I read an article or blog post that sparks an idea for my own genius, I make it a point to mention from whence that genius came. I expect the same respect especially if you have the nerve to call yourself my loyal reader, or worse, my friend.

Let me be clear about what I mean. I do a blog post about, say, cute kittens (which I would never fucking do) and you love it because your kitten is incredibly adorable. You make a comment and inform me of such. Next week your kitten does the cutest backflip trying to catch a toy mouse and you must blog about it. That's not what I mean. That's your cat and your experience and you're a weird cat person and I expect you to write about cutesy bullshit stuff.

No, what I mean is this: I write about, say, stem cell research and its pros and cons and then you, dear loyal reader, write about the exact same thing the very next day. And nowhere in your post is the sentence, "I was reading a post on ABCM and it got me thinking..." That's what the fuck I mean.

Unlike Micael, I don't mind if you borrow my ideas. To the contrary, I'm an attention whore and anytime someone uses an idea they got from me, I feel good. Important, even. But I want my fucking credit and from this politically correct, non-confrontational post and beyond, I will call your ass out. I will post a link to your stolen post so that all of my actually loyal readers can come to your blog and call you a thieving bitch. Or something like that. 

Don't think I don't love you though. I do. This is what we crazy bitches mothers like to call 'tough love.' I both adore and welcome any opportunity to express my tough love.

Pay close attention to the number of followers to your right ~~~~~~~>.

If the number goes down, you'll know that I have offended the perpetrators. 

I don't give a fuck.

But then, you knew that, didn't you?

On a totally unrelated note, I want to say a GI-FUCKING-NORMOUS thank you to all of my friends for sending me your love and support during my time of bullshit overload. This is probably a sad thing to admit, but you guys in my cyber world are some of the best friends I've ever had. For some reason, I don't have a lot of friends in real life...I wonder why that could be?

Oh, yeah. I'm a bitch.


Big kisses and inappropriately long hugs to you all! 


  1. Damn! Sometimes I get some brilliant ideas when I'm making a comment on someone's blog (related to the blog post sometimes, and sometimes completely way off topic)...but it's only RIGHT to give a shout out where a shout out is deserved. I usually try and provide a link to the other blogger - or at the very minimum, say the name of the blog. It's like the fucking "thank you" wave you give when someone lets you in front of them when you're changing lanes - NON-NEGOTIABLE. And yes, I get HELLA pissed when I don't get a thank you wave when I let someone in front of me. So, you are rightfully pissed that someone is stealing your ideas...and not giving you the thank you wave, dammit!!!

  2. And now I am all paranoid, going "oh shit, I didn't accidentally do this, did I?" (Goes back and reads all old posts just to be sure.....phew!)

    I do try to give credit where credit is due, but sometimes I do forget because I am a complete spaz-o-metron lately. But if people are out-and-out stealing your posts, then they need a good spanking! And not the 'hey, let's get a little extra kinky tonight' spanking. But the 'no one is getting out of this alive' kind.

  3. I hate the feeling that I might be copying someone and I doubly hate feeling that I'm being copied. By the by, you have a few links on various posts of mine so don't be coming over to my blog trying to beat me up.

    Case in point: We don't eat at Chick Fil A anymore because of what I learned from your post.

  4. Amen to this post. I've felt exactly the same way at times. While it is hard to constantly come up with something worthy and entertaining for our readers, stealing someone else's ideas is total bullshit. Are you going to call the bitch out? You know I'm a nosey nancy like that ; )

    Have a fantabulous week and big hugs to you!

  5. I totally agree and cool where can i get one of those Bullshot button i could so use one on a daily basis. have a great week

  6. Oh I'm so right there with Rancher Mom, thinking that maybe I'm the reason for this post. Heh. Talk about a misplaced sense of guilt. But you know, me? I don't mind so much if they (the general population) take "inspiration" from something I post. BUT, if they take my Shriner Moltar without giving me due credit, then I'm taking my earrings off and popping my knuckles.

    love you!

  7. Dont think it was me, unless you have been posting about Hockey. Credit where credit due. If you are inspired you should mention the fact, privately if not publicly.
    I always try to

  8. For the record, my rant had nothing to do with blogging whatsoever. Mine was in relation to someone all but duplicating a painting of mine and then whoring out how fucking wonderful and artistic they were and look at me fabulous.

    But yeah.

    "I know! Right?!?!?"

  9. True, true, true! It's just common decency to say "So and so wrote a blog about....and it made me think" or something to that affect. And I also know all too well how special blog friends are. We were and still are in a pretty tough situation and all the supportive comments and love are like medicine to me. You rock Mrs. Hyde!! I'll be back on here normally soon. Still unpacking, cleaning and putting more junk in storage or the dump. Just slow moving. Hugs dear lady.

  10. Does this mean that I can't write about how to be a bitch? Because I was really wanting to take your post and improve it a little bit?

    I am just kidding.

    Great post!!!

  11. OOOOHHHH!! These bitches better give you props! This is why I just write about boring little me.

    If you ever make it to SOFL, we're having a drink or ten! I bake an awesome lemon pie!! I love you and your bitchness! Keep in coming ma!

  12. My family dynamics are enough to write about. ;0)
    You are SAFE with me! I shit you not!

  13. I saw your blog name in someone's blogroll and had to come over to check you out.

    This is really annoying. It's one thing if it's a common topic. Like most moms of toddlers write about potty training at some point, so that's not copying. But, when it's a unique topic like that, it really does make you wonder what people are thinking.

  14. I am going to join Rancher Mom and Mollie in the paranoid department...

  15. Sorry for someone stealing your idea... I hope you never have to scold me for this...

  16. Mrs Hyde, I hope you aren't talking to me and the sisterwife thing because before I even started I put in great big fucking letters linking back to you that it was a copycat blog.

    I would never take your ideas without crediting you properly. You are way too talented and witty for all that. Not to mention our blog community is a bit to incestuous for someone to think they can get away with it without being noticed. If it is the sisterwife thing, head on'll see my LARGE disclaimer....

    I'm sorry this has happened. I don't think I'm an offender. At least not a conscious one. I loves you....*kisses*

  17. Reckmonster- I know right? A thank you wave is not too much to ask I don't think.

    Rancher- That's exactly my point about giving due credit. I understand that sometimes bloggers just have the same idea maybe because of something they saw on tv or the 'net, but downright stealing is just wrong.

    Tanya- I hate that feeling, too! That's why I make it a point to mention where I got my ideas. And I would never give you a beating unless you specifically asked me to.

    Empress- No, I'm not going to call anyone out...unless it happens again from the same bloggers. Then the gloves come off.

    Becca- I wish I had one in real life!

    Mollie- You crack me up! Don't forget to spread some Vaseline on your face to protect it from scratches.

    Mynx- So do I. I don't even like hockey, so I think you're safe. ;)

    Rabbit- I didn't think you were talking about blogging when you posted that, but I wanted to make a point about giving due credit for ideas.

    Barb- Hugs back at cha! Keep your head up, my friend.

    OT- I would LOVE for you to write a post about how to be a bitch!

    Mamma- I may be there sooner than you think! You said the magic words: drinking and lemon pie (my fave!).

    Shit You Not- I know I am. Speaking of which, I need to come visit you over at your blog soon.

    Shell- Welcome to the madness! I completely understand instances like that. I'm talking about the blatant thievery. And in those cases, they know exactly what they're doing. Please don't make this your last visit! There's plenty of crazy left to share.

    Cakeologist- Don't be paranoid. None of my REGULAR commenters are guilty of this. I still love you.

    Jack- Thank you. I don't mind the borrowing so much as the not getting credit part. Maybe I'm being petty?

    Tory- I'm about to spank you. You know damn well I'm not talking about you! I read your sister wives post and I already know that you mentioned me in it. Don't make me come over there... I love you like a sister. If you had offended me, I'd tell you directly just like I would my ACTUAL sisters.

  18. I love it when people imitate me, if they give me credit, like you said. But if you just straight up steal from me you can piss off and then I'll curse your ass with some wicked voodoo.

    I have one friend that doesn't live in my computer, so I know what you mean. I tend to hate most people, which doesn't get me very far on the social scene. Also, I rarely leave my house and when I do it's usually just to drive my Drunken Midget somewhere or to go to the grocery store.

    Love your blog!

  19. Wow...I hope whoever you're referring to has got the message loud n clear...!

  20. I get sooo freakin pissed when people do the copying thing...get 'em!

  21. Ohhhh, you're scaring me....I love stealing shit! And then--making it better.
    This was great :) Loved it.

  22. Raven- I try to keep the voodoo curses to a minimum, but after I give them fair warning I can't be held responsible.

    Caterpillar- I sure hope so.

    Lesley- Every now and then you just gotta hand out some ass whoopins.

    Chick- Thank you! I don't mind if you make my shit better!

  23. OMS- Hey, I've got plenty of spankings left if you want one, too. As a matter of fact, I'm going to start charging you guys for my spanking services. :P

  24. I am not important enough to be copied. Or else I am too stupid to track it down.

    Either way, I'd like a spanking pleaseandthankyou.

    Seriously?... Reeeally??... Seriously?


    1. Hey, Stephanie! I'm going to post a list of services and their associated fees.


Bitch with me, will you?