Saturday, September 25, 2010

You Talkin' To Me?

No the fuck he did not just complain about the dinner I cooked for him! Did I just open up a hot dog package, grill them, toast sub rolls, slice tomatoes, chop onions, wash lettuce, and set out the Italian Giardiniera I've been marinating for three days all to have this asshole complain that I only grilled him one hot dog? It's a fucking hot dog sub! How many heart attacks are you trying to have?

For my friends in other countries who may or may not know what a sub is, it's any kind of sandwich on a big ass 8-12 inch roll. Google submarine sandwich or hoagie. I'll wait.

See? That bitch could feed a whole village in Ethiopia and he's complaining that I only made him one. Can anyone say fat bastard?

How about fat, ungrateful bastard? I'm going to have a shot of something before I catch a murder charge. Don't be surprised if you see me on an upcoming episode of Snapped. I'll be the bitch wearing a boiled testicle talisman around her neck.

Don't you fucking love that show?


  1. OMG! Please promise you will post a photo if you do make that special testical talisman.

    Congrats on your growing follower base!
    Hugs, The Empress

  2. I hereby solemnly promise that I will not only post photos, but I will also duplicate it for any woman whose husband complains about ANYTHING from this moment on. For a small fee, of course.

    Growing my followers is all because of you, honey! If you ever find out what I can do to help you get B.O.N.ed, let me know. I am all over that shit!

  3. Good Queer God A'Mighty. This reminds me of my ex. Did you know that unappreciated pork chops have the ability fly through the kitchen like frisbees? Did you also know that if you chunk the fuckers hard enough, the homemade BBQ sauce on them acts as an adhesive and they stick to foreheads...? Li'l random trivia there for ya.

  4. Why, I've got homemade BBQ sauce in the fridge right now! And I am sooo headed to Sam's Club to stock up on pork chops. Thanks for the tip! Oh! I know! I'll glue some tortilla shells to plates and have those suckers on standby.

  5. Thanks, Lolamouse! It's about time someone recognized me for the genius I am! :)


Bitch with me, will you?