Tuesday, July 27, 2010

WTH?

I had two posts on this blog that that zen bitch deleted. She sucks so frickin' hard! BTW the zen bitch is me...when I'm not PMSing.

I started this blog because I suffer from PMDD. I know, bfd because so do half the women in the U.S. I've tried medication, meditation, and running away from home. The only thing that even remotely helps is alcohol. So shut the hell up and pass the Cuervo because I don't give a fat rat's ass what you think of me right now. It calms me down for about...30 minutes which is just enough time for my husband to grab the kids and run.

I hope they don't come back. They always do. And they never, ever take the damn cat with them.

I'm a completely different person when I'm PMSing. I don't give a shit. About anything. I've composed a list of all the things about which I don't give a shit during this wonderful time of the month:

1. my children
2. your children
3. men
4. animals (I'm a vegetarian)
5. religion
6. oil spills
7. skinny bitches
8. rich bitches
9. skinny, rich bitches
10. you (but keep reading anyway. I'll be back to loving you in about a week).
11. Oprah (need I say more)

My husband and I are going away for our 18th anniversary this week. Pray for him please. Tell God I don't give a shit.

And pass the Cuervo.

4 comments:

  1. I just finished the tequila. Is vodka alright?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hate Oprah too. Fuck that bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, bitchy vodka works just fine! And gin, and rum...you can keep that nasty ass sambuca though.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tonya, you think if we start an I Hate Oprah campaign, she'll have us on the show?

    ReplyDelete

Bitch with me, will you?