You Talkin' To Me?

No the fuck he did not just complain about the dinner I cooked for him! Did I just open up a hot dog package, grill them, toast sub rolls, slice tomatoes, chop onions, wash lettuce, and set out the Italian Giardiniera I've been marinating for three days all to have this asshole complain that I only grilled him one hot dog? It's a fucking hot dog sub! How many heart attacks are you trying to have?

For my friends in other countries who may or may not know what a sub is, it's any kind of sandwich on a big ass 8-12 inch roll. Google submarine sandwich or hoagie. I'll wait.

See? That bitch could feed a whole village in Ethiopia and he's complaining that I only made him one. Can anyone say fat bastard?

How about fat, ungrateful bastard? I'm going to have a shot of something before I catch a murder charge. Don't be surprised if you see me on an upcoming episode of Snapped. I'll be the bitch wearing a boiled testicle talisman around her neck.

Don't you fucking love that show?