As you know, it is my mission in life to corrupt the world one 'fuck' at a time.
I believe the quickest way to do that is to start with the nicest, classiest people you can find and influence them so that 'fuck' becomes a regular part of their vocabulary. Like 'hello' or 'peanut butter' or 'I am a Christian.' You know, normal stuff. To that end, I have asked the sweetest woman I know to crash my blog and unleash a whirlwind of 'fucks' all over it.
This shit is gonna be fucking fun.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mynx, author of Dribble and Secret Pleasures. Enjoy!
Look where I have landed.
On a “Bitch called Mum Mom, oops, nearly Aussied your blog Mrs Hyde.
Firstly let me tell you how fucking glad I am to be asked to guest here. Did you see that? I said the “F” word and not even on the naughty blog I also have.
Surprise you did I?
I never really say “fuck” on my blog. Well I must have a couple of times because one day I did one of those word cloud thingys and there it was.
In real life I do tend to say it more, but usually only when I am really stressed. You see, I am/was a bit of a goody two shoes. But here I am, where not only am I allowed to say “fuck”, I can even say it lots and lots.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, hehehe.
Said it out loud in the car the other day. Big C said “Mum, the word is Fudge, FUDGE”.
Fuck, I am being told off for bad words by a 14 year old.
I must admit that reading it in a lot of blogs tends to make it easier to say. If my blog wasn’t a secret from my real life I might have replied “Awwww but Mrs Hyde says fuck all the time and her kids don’t tell her off”.
When Mrs Hyde asked me to write this guest, I suddenly remembered a situation when I said Fuck a lot, and very loudly. And surprised a fuck load of people in the process.
As I was a full time Mum, I got involved in the boys Kindergarten (preschool for 4 year olds). So fucking involved, I was made chairperson of the fucking parents committee. (see how good I am getting at using the f bomb)
Part of the role was planning and organising fundraising and the committee decided this particular year to have a massive garage sale (yard sale?).
Weeks of collecting stuff from parents, promoting it around the area. Sorting pricing and storing until the day. An early start (5 am) to get things ready. A sausage sizzle to keep the men happy while the women browsed.
If you think this was hard work, you are not wrong Narelle.
The partner of one of the women on the committee had volunteered to help. Yay, we thought, needed a guy or two to be useful.
How wrong were we?
While we women worked our tushies off, this guy (let’s call him John) decided it was much more fun to sit on his arse and play on the computer half the morning.
Anytime something that needed a guy happened, he became the invisible man.
Finally the day was over and while taking the money to a room to count, John approached me and said,“Gee this was an easy way to make a pile of cash, we should do it every month”
And being the lady I am, I gave him the death glare and walked away.
Jenny, who had seen him speak to me, but not heard the comment came over and asked me what was making me look so steamed.
It was then, for the first time in anybody’s memory that I let it really rip.
“That fucking, John, he fucking thinks that this was a fucking easy fucking way to fucking make money and has suggested that we fucking do it every fucking month. Well if he wants to fucking organise this fucking nightmare, he fucking can, because there is no fucking way we are doing it again for at least another fucking year.”
When I finally came up for air, I looked at the girls around me and their stunned faces.
And then we laughed.
And it became a bit of a legend. How John made Mynx say fuck more times in one minute than she had said in an entire year.
And the fucking Garage Sale, well it made a shit load of money and became a fucking annual event.
And John, he remained a fucking lazy dumb ass.
Wasn't that fucking awesomeness dipped in chocolate and deep fried on a stick? And my two favorite subjects: fuck and dumnasses!
Thanks for dropping by and entertaining us today, Mynx. You can bring your arse over here and Aussie my blog any day! Love you!
Oh! Had to come back and edit to add this on: if any of my other readers would like to guest on either of my blogs, please let me know. Just remember that there are rules for The Well-Fed Spirit, but absolutely no rules whatsoever for A Bitch Called Mom. Well...maybe one or two rules, but you know what I mean. Rabbit and The Empress, I know you're busy, but as soon as things die down over there, I'm coming for you two...
